The current state of things.

Before i start, two things...
1.Comments greatly encouraged.
2. I haven't reread any of this as I think that would be editing my thoughts, So it may not make perfect sense.

Let me set the scene for you…

The year beginning is 2014. I am a graduate with a degree in American Studies from University of Winchester. I currently work in admin, and live with friends in Winch. It pains me to say it because it makes it true… but, I am … 23 years old. 24 this year…

Aims for 2014… 1. Learn Guitar.  2. Eat Better  3. Exercise more… the usual!

However, this year will be full of uncertainty and big, life defining decisions for me. For the first time in my life I don’t know what to do. I’ve always had a plan. I’m the kind of person who is boarding on the obsessive organised. My life is to do lists and white boards full of my plans for each weekend for the next couple months. I always knew I would finish school, go to 6^th form, go to Uni and have the best three years of my life, get a full time job. (Ticked all those boxes, Win!)

 But now after two years of working in a 9-5 admin type job I can’t help but feel there’s more out there…

In July 2014 I am forcing myself to leave Winchester, my comfort zone and the illusion in my head that I am still a student. Living with them keeps me in that mind set and going to Bop every so often ensures this!

But everyone I know is finishing Uni for real in July and they are moving away. I still obviously have a few good friends around here but they all have long term relationships or ambitious career plans with Masters Degrees and such… don’t get me wrong I’m ridiculously proud of them for doing something they love (and insanely jealous that they have found something that makes them so happy!!)

I just wish I had that…

I’ve never know what I want to do with my life. It’s always at the back of my mind and I try to shrug it off when (inevitably) parents and relatives (and ex-boyfriends) demand that I should know by now!

Why should I know?! Who dictates that you should spend the rest of your life in pursuit of a career that you may in fact turn out to despise? More fool you if you did a vocational degree and it turns out you hate it, what have you got to fall back on…? All that experience you gained from doing a Masters… oh wait you have none and no one will hire you because you are inexperienced.

I on the other hand, opted to do an interdisciplinary course which gives me a great foundation, and more than anything is interesting! Every time I mention to employers or people in general the nature of my Degree people are interested! It was unusual and although some people dismiss it as “not being a real Degree” it was the best thing I’ve ever done in my life. I enjoyed every single lesson, my tutors, my classmates the memories from the field trip. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

So screw every single one of you that did a Degree which made you anything less than 100% happy. But it’s ok because you have a “respectable” Degree and job. Yawn…

ANYWAY…. Back to the present. I am the most indecisive person to grace this planet. As soon as I make my mind up about anything I immediately doubt myself and flip to the opposite decision. I know how annoying this can be and I’m sure some of you reading this have hated me for it, but you know what I’m like J I can only apologise.

I digress… so come June I have a lot of decisions to make.

At the moment I want to quit my admin job in Winchester. I love the people and the job is ok but really quiet, I get bored a lot and spend most of my time on Twitter, Facebook, and Buzz feed or losing my blogging virginity… Whilst all being very productive, I can’t help but feel that I should be challenged and I should want to jump of out bed each morning with enthusiasm for the working day! Ok… so maybe that’s a bit too much ask for, but a job where I feel that I am making a difference or have a distinct say in the way things are going would be great.

So I quit my job… decision one made.

Secondly… housing arrangements. As much as I love Winch its been 5 years and I know im clinging on to old memories in the hope that the time continuum with splinter and I am somersaulted back to Freshers Fortnight. Unlikely, I know.

Dorset it is then I guess. Moving back in with the parents. The ultimate failure? A gap in between jobs? A mid-twenties crisis? Probably a bit of everything. But I have great friends in Dorchester and a job that I can always fall back on with a great Boss who would always offer me work. It’s in the Hotel I worked at from the age of 15. Crazy right, regressing 8 years? Regressing or just pausing my life and pondering my options? I vote the second… sounds less worrying. Slightly.

Decision two made.

BUT… what if this is a HUGE mistake? I used to be so grumpy living at home. I’m not sure if this was just because I was a teenager or if it’s the fact that my mum still thinks im about 15 and asks me where im going all the time. But don’t all mums? I guess this doesn’t change with age.

I look at my friends from Winch, getting mortgages with long term girlfriends, going back to Uni to further their careers and develop lifelong skills to secure their dream jobs, earning tonnes of money. Then there’s little old me back in the box room of my mum’s house waitressing at a hotel…

But I want that, for the summer at least. To fracture my 9-5 lifestyle and lose myself in Dorset, cream teas, sunny summer days at the beach, spending time with friends and enjoying the occasional cider in the sun. Come on, its Dorset, its got to be done right? Perfection.   

But it suddenly hit me yesterday. What then…?  What happens when the long summer days turn into autumnal skies and winter sets in? I cant live at home forever…

So the plan… Go Travelling.

When life throws you a clear break in everything this would be a travesty to miss such an opportunity to drop everything and go. Career, relationships, houses, kids that can all wait. I’m not ready for that.

I want to fall in love with the world. I want to get lost in the awe-inspiring beauty of it all. Visit cultures so different to my own and experience things I could only dream to.

So decision three made. Right…? But I don’t want to go alone. I want someone to share it with. Short of putting an ad on facebook and appearing incredibly desperate what can I do? I ask my friends and they said what a great idea it is and that they’re definitely up for it, but then get jobs which last years, or are saving to buy a house, or cant leave their partner. Bore off. Live a little whilst your young!!

So I guess maybe what this blog has turned into (completely unexpectedly I promise!) is a small recruitment drive. Seriously interested in travelling? Vaguely know me? Not a complete psycho? Up for exploration and adventure? All applications welcome… my bag’s packed and waiting for you to accept J

After that… who knows.

It’s great having a life plan, but you know what, it could all change tomorrow. And then where will you be? I hope that 2014 will be the year that I can say fuck it, lets go! And leave for the adventure of a lifetime. I want to, but its nerve racking! To those of you who care about me… make me do this. I will live in regret if I don’t. I believe everyone should experience travelling at some point in their lives. Otherwise what do you have? A life of mediocre jobs, relationships and “facebook friends?”

In 2014 I vow to make unforgettable memories.

Future me can deal with the issue of what to do after that. Who knows, I could stumble along a dream job and move to Peru or fall in love with an Australian surf instructor.

Here’s to hoping… J

2014… Bring it on.